Midnight Impulse

learning experiences and impulsive decisions

Dreams and Stress and Resolutions

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Last night I dreamt it was my wedding day, except I was the groom rather than the bride. This dream wasn’t particularly descriptive imagery-wise, but it was superb concerning the feelings it created. I was getting married and was happy in the dream I think I might’ve actually smiled in my sleep. The best way I can describe it is by saying it felt like the feeling you have when it’s your birthday. You know, when you were small and it was your birthday and you felt this amazing happiness because IT’S YOUR BIRTHDAY, when you wake up and you can just tell that today is a super special day. If one day in the future I decide to get a sex change, let this be proof that my subconscience knew it all along (or you know, that my dreams predict the future.)
Concerning the “Stress” part of the title of this post, I’ve actually been dealing with stress the past few weeks, for like, the first time in my life. I’m honestly one of the least stressed-out people in my grade (not a big accomplishment considering there’s only about 10 of us.) OMG Addie, that’s great, you never get stressed! yeah no, not that great. Epic downside to this: if and when I do stress out, I became a crippled ball of tears. Literally. I break down crying, fearing that I’ll fail or get kicked out of something. Most stressful thing I’m dealing with this semester? No, not the Advanced Placement exam. SAT? nope. Fucking MUN. My Model United Nations club is going on a trip to another country in Europe in mid-March, and this is honestly the most serious shit I’ve ever done. We’ve already paid non-refundable money for the plane tickets and yet we’re expected to get excellent grades till after the trip, or else we can be prohibited to attend. My dad seems oddly at ease about the whole thing and thinks I’m taking it too seriously, but I just couldn’t bare the shame of being that-girl-that-couldn’t-come-because-she-didn’t-get-her-shit-together for the rest of high school. Gah. Report cards came out on Friday and it turns out I have a missing grade for a math unit we did a while ago, so I ran back to the school (we were dismissed early and I live near) and asked my math teacher on what to do. I then spoke to the director, who is a very helpful woman. She told me to calm down and stop stressing out, and that I can just retake the test on Monday before the MUN teacher finds out. I’m hoping to whatever Deity is out there to make this true.
Speaking of MUN, we’re required to write resolutions on how to fix world issues. My MUN resolution is to lose weight before the trip (hah, see what I did there? Double entendre motha.) My ridiculously expensive gym membership doesn’t expire till March 15, which is PERFECT because that’s about when we’re leaving for the trip. I tried on the clothes I intend to wear for the conferences (in MUN, you are required to wear professional business clothing, like suits) and I looked terrible in them. I was barely able to button one pair of the slacks I own, and the other one is so tight I’ll probably faint during a meeting. Once I finally DID button one of the pants, my belly was bulging, which REALLY shows with the shirts I own. Tomorrow is Sunday and I plan on going to the gym to walk on the treadmill for an hour or so and then do some strength training exercises (especially focusing on midsection. Badly need to lose fat there.) I even put on these colourful braided string bracelets that I’d made when I was in the 3rd grade as a promise to not overeat and to exercise well. It’s 10 PM right now and so far I’ve done pretty well not eating anything for four hours. Yay 😀

Goodnight everyone, and thank you for the 14 follows 😀
xx, Adelaide

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Author: Adelaide Martin

18 year old international student's transition into college life on a new continent.

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