Midnight Impulse

learning experiences and impulsive decisions

Leave a comment

Lady Gaga’s red dress

I’m having a love-hate relationship with this dress right here.

Granted, I think this is a very unflattering angle of Gaga, but the dress itself seems to be squeezing her boobs too much (hah, first time I say boobs on here!) and making them look way too small.  The huge Versace belt is a nice accessory, because otherwise the dress would’ve been too simple.  I personally would’ve preferred to wear a dress like that with plain jewelery in order to let the garment do the talking, but hey, for Lady Gaga, wearing this dress alone is a huge downplay to her usual style.

I think if the bodice were a bit more structured with a seam of some sort, it would’ve sat better on the not-a-size-0 model wearing it.

On a different note, I really hate how I can’t figure out how to wrap the text AROUND the image.  If anybody has any SIMPLIFIED advice on this, feel free to explain.  I tried using the wordpress help center’s advice, but I don’t get CSS at all.

xx, Addie



Leave a comment

Things I Assumed But Was Ultimately Wrong About

I am creating a running-post to all the things I assumed but was oh-so-very wrong about.  Over the years, there have been several things I was wrong about, and they are all so embarrassingly funny and numerous that I decided to dedicate this page to them, in order to keep on adding memories as time goes on.

1.  I thought Germany was an island.  Yes, you read that correctly.  The 7th grade was the first year I took Geography, so I’d really never looked at a map before.  You can imagine my surprise at finding how large Germany actually is, and my sudden understanding as to why it was so easy for them to invade every other country.

2.  I thought that only two religions existed: Christianity and Islam.  This really gives you some insight on the community I lived in.  To this day, the concept of understanding that there is more to religion than just two faiths has been the hardest for me to comprehend.  Granted, I was six at the time.  I was sitting there and saw something on tv about Buddhism.  “Daddy, what is this?”  I asked my father.  “It’s a religion.”  He replied.  “That’s impossible.  There’s only Islam and Christianity.  Do they have a god?” I was very confused.  “Yes, they do.”  IMPOSSIBRU.

3.  I once mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans.  I had SERIOUSLY never taken Geography before!  Dictatorships don’t teach you that stuff.

4.  I thought sex was two people lying in bed naked, kissing.  It had to follow that exact structure.  Otherwise it wouldn’t work.  My alternate theory was that, when a mommy and a daddy really wanted to have a baby, the mommy would pray and pray to god and then she’ll get magically pregnant.  I was a very religious and innocent 6-year-old at the time.  I also thought that babies are born through a mommy’s tummy.  It ripped open and out came junior.  Oh god.  How disturbing that skin would rip all on its own.  I was partially right though: that’s kinda how C-sections go.

5.  I thought Sherlock Holmes was written by, well, Sherlock Holmes.

Leave a comment

Stressed and Overdue

It feels like it’s summer already and I have the insufferable urge to just not go to school anymore, stop doing all my work, and bury my self in the 145 novels I want to read.  

My second SAT exam is next week.  Usually, you’re supposed to study hard for your second time, but I didn’t even bother this time.  I’ll be lucky to score 40 points higher than last time.  Six days after the SAT, on Friday, I have to go to school and isolate myself on a computer for 3 hours to take the AP exam, which I will be failing no doubt because, hey guess what, I didn’t bother to study for that one either.

Never have I ever been so challenged by schoolwork before.  It’s not only the exams worrying me, it’s the overdue work I need to complete soon before I fail several units.  I have a 15-page (double spaced) research project to write on F. Scott Fitzgerald as well as several essays and assignments for my AP Language and Composition course that were supposed to be done at least a month ago.  In short, I cannot wait for this school year to be over.

I can’t even think straight lately.  I seem to be unable to see anything beyond May 11, which is the day after I finish taking my AP test.  I’m turning 17 on May 24, and i think I might be considering actually having a party this year (more on that later).  I want presents.

Summer break starts on Friday, June 14 and school doesn’t start till the very beginning of September.  I’m really hoping to read a lot of books, comics, and magazines; watch a lot of movies and tv shows; and hopefully study for the next SAT test as well as catch up on some French.  

Leave a comment

Sudden Weight Gain

I woke up this morning, washed up, got dressed, and went downstairs.  As I usually do on my days off, I immediately went to the scale to weigh myself.  I use my morning weight as my point of reference for gain or loss, since morning is the time of day when I haven’t yet consumed anything.


I step on the scale and wait for the dreadful number to pop up on the digital screen.  My jaw drops when it does.

digital bathroom scale


I GAINED 2 KILOS THIS WEEK? What and how in the name of hell?  I’m so mad at myself right now.  I thought I’d never have to see that number again, but I guess I just did.  I’m currently refraining from eating breakfast for another hour at least, until I hopefully burn off 400 grams.  I really need some self-control.


Fear of Death

I do not have a thorough comprehension of death.  Although I’ve been exposed to it growing up, the feeling of utter devastation has only now begun to hit me.  I do not mourn the loss of past family members, but rather for the lives of strangers lost on a daily basis.  Big tragedies such as earthquakes and bombings have been recently affecting me on a deeper level than they ever have before.  

I cannot stand the thought of a “wasted life.”  Who are we to know whether the souls of these people (if souls even exist) will ever get another chance to be?  I cannot stand the thought of not existing anymore.  I cannot stand the thought of being one second, but not being in the next.  I cannot stand the thought of it because I feel victims of tragedy are being robbed of something no one has the right to take away.  

My whole family and I have been very lucky in escaping the war in Iraq.  Not a single person of my immediate or extended family has been killed or even merely injured in the process, and this is something I know isn’t true for everybody that was caught in that situation.  So many lives were shattered …

I hate the uncertainty of life.  Lately I’ve been scared to tears every time my dad leaves the house to go get an errand.  Perhaps the fact that I’m so close with my him now makes me feel this way.  The last time I worried when I was left alone was back during the war.  My solution to the problem back then was to accompany my parents just about everywhere they went.  I didn’t want to be on my own, and I certainly did not want to be left behind, God forbid anything were to happen to my parents.  

I’m being ridiculous, I know I am.  I can’t help myself though.  I keep imagining all these terrible scenarios in which there’s an accident, and somebody doesn’t make it out, and I end up crying when I’m trying to fall asleep at night.  I imagine scenarios of having to raise my younger siblings all on my own.  I imagine scenarios of finding my soul mate and then losing them.  That is my worst fear.  How do you go on after you find your other half? 

Funny, I’ve never admitted that to anyone before.  I’ve never voiced the thought.  I don’t think you should tell people what your biggest fears and dreams are.  I don’t want to give them the power to tear me down.

Stay safe,



Leave a comment

A Perfect Day for Self-Reflection

“You feel a lack of self and it’s someone else telling you to try where you failed before”

An air of peaceful melancholy has draped itself around my small school community.  Today was just as eventless as any other day.  The ash-grey sky once again opened up to pour its guts out during Algebra, guaranteeing a wet walk home.  An hour later, after putting on my earphones, I accidentally clicked a song I’d recently downloaded.  That was a good accident.  Caught a Ghost’s “Time Go” is the perfect song to take a walk in the rain to.  Upon getting home a few minutes later, I began thinking about judgements and wrong decisions I’ve made in the past–something I’ve been doing a lot of recently.

I’ve made the wrong calls many times in the past, as anybody does.  The optimistic person would call these “learning experiences” rather than “regrets,” but I just need it to be set in stone that I have learned from these wrong choices, and I do plan on not repeating these mistakes.  Who am I to judge?  I know it’s cliche, but I don’t think I’ve ever truly absorbed that piece of wisdom…until now.  I shouldn’t be speaking poorly about people behind their backs regarding issues that are of no concern to me.  I should also not be choosing sides in issues that I’m not a part of.

Jealousy and hate are such terribly self-destructive forces, and what you say will eventually come back and bite you in the ass.  I don’t want to be the person who always jumps to conclusions anymore.   As Edgar Allan Poe had so simply put it, “Believe only half of what you see and nothing that you hear.”



Leave a comment

Planning for a Zombie Apocalypse is Hard Work

On that note, planning for any devastating natural/supernatural disaster is hard work. Prior to my obsession with the zombie apocalypse survival show, The Walking Dead, I’d never given a single thought to emergency survival kits. However, considering the size of my family (six people) and the fact that my country is located atop three tectonic plates and is historically prone to earthquakes, survival gear doesn’t sound like a bad idea at all.

Once I got to thinking about details, the sheer amount of supplies needed hit me like a shovel. If we’re thinking short-term, I suppose a good first-aid kit and a water supply as well as some random foodstuffs would suffice, but I think this would only work if you’re trapped for, say, three days, maybe four max. That is, that’s what you would pack if you’re expecting for aid to come soon. If this disaster were to last for a couple of months or longer, then your supplies won’t help you one bit. Here goes my personal list of short- and long-term essentials for a (non-flood related) natural disaster and/or zombie apocalypse:


  • Water! If you’re going to stock up on anything, stock up on water. You can survive solely (albeit poorly) on water for about three days. Hopefully you won’t need to be fighting off zombie hordes during those three days, because you’ll be weak and hungry. You need a gallon (approx. 4 liters) per person per day, so plan ahead. Remember, it’s not only for drinking. Pack hydrogen peroxide (household cleaning bleach) in order to sterilize water. Two drops of bleach per liter of water will sterilize it. Let water stand for 30 minutes before use
  • Cans cans cans! Stock up on as much canned goods as possible. Meat is a no-brainer, but I think fruits should also be stocked up on as you won’t be seeing those for a looonnng time. I haven’t seen much of an assortment of canned vegetables, but buy what you can find. Beans would be a good option, plus the cans are reusable. Don’t forget to pack a manual can-opener with these!
  • Salt. For preservation and flavouring. Use sparingly, you don’t want to run out of water
  • Lard. It’s not healthy, but hell if it’s not versatile. It doesn’t go bad easy and a single can will helpt serve countless meals
  • Dry foods such as cereals, nuts, non-salted crackers, biscuits, dried toast, dried fruits, and any such foods. Take care not to pack too many salty items as you will need water to rehydrate, and you don’t want to drink through the entire supply
  • Vitamin pills. You will hopefully have enough food to eat during a zombie apocalypse, but the food you’ve salvaged is not guaranteed to provide you with the vitamins your body needs to properly function. Keep these at hand
  • Flour for those thinking long-term. Attach a recipe or two for flatbread along with the sac of flour. It requires only water, flour, and some salt. I believe it doesn’t even need an oven to cook, just a pan over a fire
  • Include food for infants and newborns, if needed

Note: Consult the internet for the best ways to store these items. An airtight concealer would be your best bet, but certain foods may need further measures. Make sure to label the containers with a list of the items inside and individual expiration dates. Rotate through food every 3-6 months, replacing as needed.


  • A basic first aid kit. Include shears and tweezers, surgical thread and needles (you never know), plastic syringes, latex gloves, aspirin as well as other pain relievers, flu medication (Panadol and Paracetamol are usually good), laxatives as well as anti-diarrhea medication, and a good supply of hand-sanitizer. Make sure to stack up on cotton and sterile dressings for wounds

Personal hygiene:

  • Soap. Considering the fact that shampoo is prone to spilling and is very heavy, soap would be a much lighter as well as more multi-faceted replacement. Stock up on soaps packaged together, not the type sold in individual tiny boxes. You’ll save space
  • Detergent
  • Toilet paper, paper towels, and tissues
  • Wet wipes will come in handy if shower water is not available
  • Hand sanitizer
  • Q-tips or cotton swabs
  • Facial cleansing wipes
  • Deodorant. The dry-stick type is best since it’s small, lasts long, and isn’t as hazardous as the gaseous type.
  • Feminine hygiene products (in this case, go for reusable rather than disposable)
  • Razors
  • Toothbrushes and toothpaste
  • Trash bags or just plastic bags in general. These could be used as single-use toilets, to carry thing, etc.
  • Bleach (ordinary 4% hydrogen peroxide)
  • Note: Other than sanitising water, bleach can also be used as an antibacterial to sterilise clothing, utensils, and tools as well as just about anything else. Keep a bottle at hand!


  • Each person should have at least one full change of clothing. Long-sleeved shirts and pants are best for most situations, as they provide warmth in cold weather and sun protection in hot weather. Sturdy, covered boots/shoes are best suited for multiple types of terrain. It’s smart to pack for at least 5 days worth of underwear and socks. Make sure to consider the climate of your location as well as the time of year
  • Towels, as the Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy suggests, are one of the most versatile items one can pack. They can be used as blankets, jackets, something to sit on, as well as for drying things!
  • Sleeping bags or blankets per individual. Again, consider the climate of your location and plan accordingly


  • Matches and lighters
  • Hand-crank radio and NOAA weather radio and batteries
  • Flashlights and batteries
  • Solar chargers for phones or other electronics
  • Whistle and a hand-held mirror to signal for help
  • Duct tape
  • Knives and scissors
  • Aluminum foil. At some point, you might want to make a solar oven to cook or bake something in
  • Frying pan and a pot, if possible. Frying pans can double as weapons
  • Rope or utility cord
  • Screws, hammer, pliers, wrench, etc. for general fixing or walker head-bashing
  • Pens and a couple of journals for recording the events as they unfold or general thoughts and musings. Optional: Pack pencils and an eraser as well as un-lined paper for a creative outlet


  • Frying pans can double as weapons
  • Knives; keep them sharpened
  • If you have the time, learn archery or fencing, it’ll come in handy when you have to fight your way through a horde of the undead
  • Shovels, hammers, axes, screws, blunt objects, etc.
  • If available, guns would surely come in handy. However, use them with caution: loud gunshots can attract the zombies!

Keep the most essential items in easy-to-grab, easy-to-carry containers such as backpacks, duffel-bags, or trash bags. Store the other items in separated plastic containers such as storage boxes. Clearly label each box with list of items and date of storage. Keep them somewhere easy to grab, so not way up in the attic or hidden in the farthest corner of the basement.

Make sure to include first aid guides, survival guides, and a few maps of your location.

For families with children, pack a couple math and language books in as well. Just because it’s the end of civilisation doesn’t mean they should be left without an education. In case of the apocalypse, make sure to include some form of a world history book along with your belongings. It’s also a good idea to take a novel or two with you, especially a favourite book as a comfort.

Other than items necessary for survival, you should take family birth and death certificates, passports or other IDs, and cash. Photographs might also be considered to take along for sentimental value (full photo albums not advised).

One idea I had was to buy the cheapest Kindle currently on the market, the black-and-white kind, and fill it up with the free classics available in the Kindle store. The battery lasts forever, and if you can find a solar charger for it, then you’re set with books for a long while. Make sure to also keep an updated music library in your iPod because chances are you’re not going to be hearing any new songs any time soon.

For those looking to restart civilisation, I suggest packing plant seeds and farming tools in order to create your own food supply. In all honesty, the ones living on their own farms will be the most prepared (food-wise, at least) for the apocalypse, especially if they’ve got a few animals around and access to a water source.

Keep moving and don’t let them surround you! In case you’re faced with an actual natural disaster, help is surely on the way.

Good luck and keep safe,



P.S.: Feel free to add to the list by mentioning it in the comments section.