I am creating a running-post to all the things I assumed but was oh-so-very wrong about. Over the years, there have been several things I was wrong about, and they are all so embarrassingly funny and numerous that I decided to dedicate this page to them, in order to keep on adding memories as time goes on.
1. I thought Germany was an island. Yes, you read that correctly. The 7th grade was the first year I took Geography, so I’d really never looked at a map before. You can imagine my surprise at finding how large Germany actually is, and my sudden understanding as to why it was so easy for them to invade every other country.
2. I thought that only two religions existed: Christianity and Islam. This really gives you some insight on the community I lived in. To this day, the concept of understanding that there is more to religion than just two faiths has been the hardest for me to comprehend. Granted, I was six at the time. I was sitting there and saw something on tv about Buddhism. “Daddy, what is this?” I asked my father. “It’s a religion.” He replied. “That’s impossible. There’s only Islam and Christianity. Do they have a god?” I was very confused. “Yes, they do.” IMPOSSIBRU.
3. I once mixed up the Pacific and Atlantic Oceans. I had SERIOUSLY never taken Geography before! Dictatorships don’t teach you that stuff.
4. I thought sex was two people lying in bed naked, kissing. It had to follow that exact structure. Otherwise it wouldn’t work. My alternate theory was that, when a mommy and a daddy really wanted to have a baby, the mommy would pray and pray to god and then she’ll get magically pregnant. I was a very religious and innocent 6-year-old at the time. I also thought that babies are born through a mommy’s tummy. It ripped open and out came junior. Oh god. How disturbing that skin would rip all on its own. I was partially right though: that’s kinda how C-sections go.
5. I thought Sherlock Holmes was written by, well, Sherlock Holmes.