Midnight Impulse

learning experiences and impulsive decisions

Losing Touch

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I feel like I have nothing left in common with my best friend.  It’s never really bothered me before, but now, more than ever, do I feel the differences between the two of us, between Tsunami and I.  I remember at some point we had a common morality, a common voice, a common enemy.  But lately all I notice is our differences.  We’re at different stages in our lives: she’s in university, I’m still in high school; she’s finally learned how to socialise while I still sit separately, waiting to be approached; she’s working on some budding flirtationship with a guy from her university while I still hold my never-been-kissed status (except for once while playing Spin the Bottle, but that doesn’t count).  All this being said, I see more common interests between her and this other girl, Duchess.  Duchess always has something to say.  Always has an eventful day.  Always needs someone to talk to about her “problems.”  It bothers me how much attention she requires.  It bothers me how the last 3 days I’ve been out with “friends,” I felt like it was Duchess, her best friend (also my best friend) Tsunami, and this new girl, Hearts.  And then there’s me.  I don’t feel like I’m a part of the group.  Duchess and I were never close, but even though we’ve known each other for a long time and have a common best friend, I still feel like I’m intruding every time she holds a conversation with Tsunami and Hearts.  

The three other girls can all relate to one another better than I ever can.  I feel like I’m losing touch with my best friend.  I feel like I’m holding her back, and I feel miserable when I’m around her and other people because I feel left behind.  I don’t really want to be around any of them for the time being, and I don’t want to be keeping in touch with anyone, even Tsunami.

Feel free to give advice if you have any.

Thank you,



Author: Adelaide Martin

18 year old international student's transition into college life on a new continent.

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