Midnight Impulse

learning experiences and impulsive decisions

A Writer in Waiting


I am an excellent Plot.  I have just been conceived out of thin air, now I make my womb in the mind of my creator.  I have not yet developed.  I do not know whether I will be the plot for a short story, a movie, a book … perhaps I am a mere blog post.  Whatever I become, I have the potential of being born, of making an influence, of being known.  I hope my creator will not forget about me. 

I am Doubt.  I wouldn’t dare allow Plot to make its way into the physical world.  What if it turns out awful?  What if it wreaks havoc on all those that read it?  That will bring shame to it’s creator.  I reside in the depths of The Creator’s brain.  I am the one who does not allow The Creator to do all as he pleases.  I do this for his own good.  I do not wish for him to be mocked.  After all, how can he be mocked if he never expresses himself?  He will have nothing to be mocked for.

I am Ambition.  I am great.  I am the largest power guiding The Creator.  He has potential but doesn’t act on it.  He’s too busy listening to Doubt, that tiny nagger that won’t shut up.  Doubt holds The Creator back.  I don’t know why he’s still around.  I wish Doubt would stop What If-ing The Creator.  If only he would listen to me.  He would see.  He would see just how wonderful he is.  The Creator would finally see how incredible his ideas are.  He would finally allow his creative powers out into the world.  Doubt says that The Creator cannot be mocked if he never expresses himself, but he cannot be praised either.  He cannot rise if he is not willing to fall.

I am a writer in waiting.  My thoughts are plentiful.  They keep me up at night.  Everyday, they become more and more colourful, more and more vivid, and more and more anxious to get out.  I cannot stop myself from writing them down, so as not to forget.  But I cannot bring myself to expand on them, to properly form them.  I daydream of publishing my own work, to be known, to be heard.  But what if I’m bad at writing?  What if everyone hates my thoughts and I become the latest joke author?  … But what if they love it?  What if I connect to millions?  What if my words are the ones that bring solace to the lost?  The ones that inspire others to do as I did–to follow their Ambitions?

I am a writer.  I have thoughts and I have my own unique way with words.  I have a perception like no other and I have solid opinions.  I have ideas that need to break out of my mind, to breath the air around them.  My ideas need a change of scenery.  Their new home shall be on paper, where they can be seen and developed and intertwined with other ideas until they are ready to be seen by the whole world.  So what if I am criticized?  If at first I don’t succeed, I will try, try again.  I will not allow my one fear to trump the hundred reasons to try.


Author: Adelaide Martin

18 year old international student's transition into college life on a new continent.

4 thoughts on “A Writer in Waiting

  1. Very creative! Keep posting!

  2. This is purely awesome writing!

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