I would’ve never noticed the girl if it weren’t for my friend Skillet. I sat down with my tray at our lunch table and she asked me how I feel having the girl there, jerking her head forward. “Who?” “_____’s sister.” “She’s here?!” I asked without turning around. Apparently the older sister of a girl in my class had come for a little visit today. She graduated last year and I’ve never been so glad to have someone leave my life. She would glare and laugh whenever she came around me because–get this–of political tension between the two countries that we are from. She refused to speak to me and made me feel like shit about myself the whole year. I ended up drained over the summer, feelings of weakness coming over me every time I remembered her cold harsh eyes and the way I felt around her.
I thought I was over it, that I was stronger and could deal with her. But immediately after understanding that she was sitting two tables behind me I got that feeling again. My lungs felt constrained. My breathing was just the slightest bit shallower, and my fork just that little bit less steady in my hand. The only time I saw her face was as I was exiting the cafeteria. And there she was. Glaring at me from across the room. Was this her constant state of being? Was I the only person she ever looked at? It seems impossible that literally every time I looked in her direction she’d be already there, her gaze fixed and full of hate.
She’ll apparently be here for my graduation (for her sister). Fantastic.